Shubhika's blog

  I think I'm adventurous. I love trying new things. Let it be dangerous, stupid, or tough. I don't care about the experience being bad because I know these new stuff won't always go the right way. It'll be difficult and leave scars on me but I like to do it anyway. I like to try.  I remember an evening walk with my family where I saw a huge rock hill. I wanted to climb it instantly. It was slippery because of the rain and I really didn't have skills nor technique to climb a rock. But I had to do it anyway. While I could hear my parents telling me not to do it in the background, I stepped forward. One step on the rock while my hands were searching places for a grip. I did it. I was now hanging on the rock. Aama baba were amazed but I still wasn't satisfied. I took another step upward but it wasn't a nice grip and I fell. Hard on the ground and almost hit my head. I stood up somehow. My new pair of jeans got torn and made a huge scar on both my knees. Yes, I ...

  As much as the patriarchal society tries to make me weak, helpless and vulnerable, the more I've become strong and resilient.

  MUWCI I've learned many things here, not only how to write a literature paper or an econ ee. But a course, much more important. I've learnt how to live and how to make the best of it. How to be in the world and of the world. Not just to stand outside and watch, but do what you wanna do. Be the main character. How to not give a fuck. Even if there are hundreds watching, you do you if that makes you happy. You're not going to meet them again. Not to worry about losing people because one day you'll leave too. You're alone but have fun at the moment, share some smiles and make some memories. 

Some days are hard and I become hard on myself. My heart feels heavy again and I feel like a disappointment to myself, to my aama and to my baba. While my eyes start to drizzle, I bring all of my feelings down to a paper but does it really help? Because tomorrow, I'll be careless again. I'll take things for granted and forget how hurt I was today. There's so much difference between today and tomorrow. I just keep on hoping that tomorrow I'll work better.  But what about today? Why couldn't today be better? Because yesterday today was the tomorrow . People say don't be hard on yourself but maybe I should be. I must push myself a little harder so that I don't regret tomorrow. To end this anxiety, I'll make tomorrow the last tomorrow. 

A stary night Moon full of scars- Flying with fireflies You and I A peaceful night Reflect and Realize Strangled by others With hope, I write

 A dog wagging its tail. A bird building its nest. An ant carrying something bigger than itself. I lay observing, Hearing the thunders, Watching the scars of the moon, The glossy shades of orange and pink, The sun will set soon